An old fart on a cooking journey

Wednesday, 29 April 2015

How to cook eggs and bacon on a fire, with no metal utensils

 Here's the scenario. The doo-doo has hit the fan. It's TEOTWAWKI (the end of the world as we know it) time.
 Zombie hordes abound and you are one of the last okes left alive. The human race is decimated and on the brink of extinction, so you flee to the woods wearing just your camouflage cargo pants and a vest that shows the results of all those gym sessions.

Eggs and bacon
 
 In your backpack you have some eggs and rashers of bacon but there was no time to grab any pots or pans, just your trusty dagger.
 The situation looks bleak. For all you know, you are the last surviving oke in the world. But then, deep in the woods, you come across a beautiful, hot babe. It's obvious she's survived some horrible encounters, as her cargo pants are torn into the tiniest of shorts, revealing long, shapely legs. Her vest is torn so her belly button ring and flat abs are visible.
 Poor thing, you think, but realise there is no time to be wasted on sympathy. Here is your opportunity to save the world. Together you can begin its repopulation. It's a tough job but the future of the world depends upon it.

Headache
 
 You sidle up to her and suggest you get right to it but she pushes you away, bitching she has a headache because she hasn't eaten.
 This could happen and your chance to step up and be a hero would be gone! You have the food but know of no way to cook it.
 But fear not, dear okes, I've found a cool video that will show you how to cook it and make all woodland nymphs swoon. Pull this out of your bag of tricks and she'll soon be swinging on your vine.

 
 

Please be cool and share!
 

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