How to eat a cheese sandwich

 And you thought that thing your Mum compressed into your school lunchbox was just a plain, simple, cheese sarmie. Seems not.

 The cheese sandwich has been, identified (according to the Guardian) as Britain's favourite weekday, lunchtime, nibble. It is not just a sandwich, but one of the building blocks of that country's identity - or so The Guardian says.

 This staggering news saw the publication of an in-depth article in...yep, you guessed it, The Guardian...on "How to eat a cheese sandwich." It's long and filled with facts and technique and if you are to attain your full cheese-sandwich-chomping potential, I seriously recommend you put aside a few minutes and check out the full article.

 However, for those who want the 30-second soundbite version, allow me to summarize.

•  Choose a hard, waxy tangy cheese along the lines of mature cheddar, lincolnshire poacher or red leicester.
•  Slicing is preferable to grating.
•  Choose a good quality, impeccably-fresh bread.
•  Eat the sandwich at room temperature.
•  Real butter, not margarine or spread.
•  Cut horizontally through the middle of the bread. Never diagonally. Eat the less enjoyable “square edged” bottom half first, as it has the larger, drier crust area, and then sit back and savour that relatively luxurious, rounded top-half.
•  Drink with it, a huge mug of brick-red tea, or a zippy, lightly bitter golden or pale ale.

Now you know.